I remember a time when I was doing movie extra work, there were five of us, a student to become a medical doctor, an individual from another country, a philosophy major, a hotel doorman and myself – at that time a skydiver, sitting in a circle waiting for the next call to go on set when a conversation started, “What is the purpose of life?”  To sum up this four hour long, we arrived at an answer!  Imagining the different angles that a future doctor & a philosophy major would bring than taking in mind we were considering the average everyday person struggling through life, the multimillionaire and even a sociopath; the meaning is simple,


I used to make a lot more money

I used to drive a new sporty & luxurious car

I used to do almost anything I wanted to

I used to buy almost anything I wanted to

I had the newest clothes

I had the coolest toys

I felt on top of the world

I was Happy (yet not fulfilled). . .


I make less money

I drive an older car

I don’t get to do anything I want to

I don’t get to buy anything I want to

I live in a smaller house

I work further from home

Happiness is not bought or found stored in a dusty shoe box

Happiness is a state of mind

I could be sad that I make less money, live in a smaller house & don’t have all of the toys


I choose not to focus on the, what I don’t have and instead focus on what I do have:

A Healthy baby girl

An Amazing life partner

Ability to exercise everyday by running, biking and or doing a workout video

Drive to expand my brain Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, etc.

I Live close to my family

I have in my life what is important


What goes with us when we die is not the possessions that we obtain but the memories and experiences we create while here and sure we could say those possessions bring happiness because we have things to do and sure you can say only a person who has no money will say that having money does not make you happy.  Sure possessions and money provide a certain level of happiness but what I am digging at is that true internal happiness, that on my dying bed I feel satisfied and ready to go happiness.

I just like you ride the roller coaster of life with the ups and downs.

The other day I went into a book store to kill some time during lunch and was reviewing through the different titles and came across a book, “You are an Ironman” as I sat there on the ground flipping page through page this book began to speak to me, “You need me AJ, I will provide many hours of fun, I will help you understand the challenges of training for an Ironman, I will be like a new friend” BUT this “new friend” was $30.  There was a time in life that I wouldn’t care as that wasn’t much money but now it is.  I just two days before this allocated a $100 budget for non-essentials, actually new clothes and thought to myself . . . I will give up an outfit to be able to have this new book.  Excited that I have chosen to purchase this “new friend” I get up off the floor and look around then head over to the kids section where I found a $5 book full of colorful images to share with Sky to begin teaching her and then I came across sign language flash cards.  I am now up to $50 and realize I do not have anything for Kelly.  I head back to the sports section and over to the self help section to begin searching for a book.  There are an incredible amount of beneficial reads in these two sections; All I want to do is help keep both Kelly and my mind expanding for us to achieve greater than imaginable accomplishments out of life, to make a difference in this world!

There I am now confused over which book to buy, beginning to get upset that my original argument of spending just $30 of my $100 budget is growing to use almost all of my budget and I will no longer be able to get new clothes, I am starting to get upset.  Ready to sit on the floor and just start crying, I give up and put all of the books back on the shelves except for the two for Sky.  Finishing off the rest of my work day upset, angry and frustrated I begin my forty five minute drive home and upon walking in the door to Kelly having dinner ready we sit down to eat.

Dinner in our family is a time where we get to sit down together (all three of us) and share our days, thoughts and lessons.  This day I was sharing the book store experience with Kelly when it came to me that during the book store I was focusing on the wrong sections of life, I had flipped upside down on the roller coaster to focus on what I don’t have.  Kelly then helped me realize, with a simple stair into my eyes as she listens so intently, that I was deciding not to feel happy.

Happiness is not something you will just find or buy sure products will provide short term happiness but what is going to fill that void after the excitement of a new car, new camera or new outfit wears off?  We have the power no matter where we are in life to choose to be happy or decide to be sad.

I challenge you to be aware with yourself to realize the next time you are feeling blue to go stare at yourself in the mirror, look directly into your own heart and ask:

Am I deciding to be sad right now or will I choose to be happy?  Then push those aggressive feelings out of your mind by addressing what needs to be addressed and feel happy that you are you, you have a plan, you have the ability to overcome . . .

I am and I choose to be in the happiest moment of my life.  I get to have …

We all want it, we can all have it, it is free, it is a choice!

Happiness is yours!